Waiting for the clouds to clear…


How long do you wait? Life has a habit of catching up with you and you learn you have to accept the things that you have been dealt. There is no escaping…
So I am waiting patiently for life to begin again.
It’s not as bad as it sounds…I suffer from Clinical Depression and can go years with no real problems then everything clouds over and I sink into a deep depression. This shows itself in constant anxiety and panic attacks.
The remedy for this is therapy and anti-depressants. Seven years ago therapy worked small miracles, but this time it’s anti-d’s on their own as the NHS don’t offer therapy and we can’t afford Β£35 an hour at this point!
The downside is fatigue…my family couldn’t believe how much I slept when I began taking the tablets. At first it frustrated them, but they soon admitted they preferred me tired and dozy to stressed and panicked! It has, though, left me with constant exhaustion and the need for afternoon naps, and I have zero motivation. I have lost interest and am struggling just to get the basics done every day.
Everything is an effort and I feel as though I have entered a thick fog. The clouds have descended and I have no ability to lift above them…

So now I’m just waiting for the clouds to clear and the sun to shine through…then perhaps I’ll find the impetus and energy to get moving again!
I’m waiting for my rainbow…

‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.’

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