Just lately I’ve got really fed up with seeing young girls (I mean under 14-year-olds) constantly updating their Facebook relationship statuses… ‘in a relationship’, ‘single’, ‘in a relationship’, ‘single’ again and again…they appear to be defined by the relationship status they post.
When I was 12, I was lost in books, drawing or still playing with dolls! I had no wish to have a boyfriend. That doesn’t mean I didn’t experience infatuation or crushes, but I didn’t need to act upon them. However, the operative words at that age are ‘infatuation’ and ‘crush’ which is what they usually are!
I had friends who were boys, I hung out with boys…but I didn’t need to date them. Plenty of time for that after I grew up a bit!
I had my first boyfriend at 17 and married my 4th boyfriend a week before I was 20. I enjoyed the flirting and the chasing for a few years before I began dating and relished the advice not to get serious so fast. I wish I’d kept that one better, once bitten, twice shy… Young teens don’t need the emotional pressure of serious relationships, it’s hard enough at 17, let alone 14!
Teens seem to think that getting a boyfriend or girlfriend is the be all and end all, and much of the media perpetuates this. I truly wish children and teens these days had more self-esteem and more self-respect, that they didn’t think everything depended on having the ‘right’ boyfriend, wearing the ‘right’ clothes and being cool.
I wish children could stay children longer and teens were allowed to use their teenage years to find themselves before they look for a partner! Why do kids want to grow up so soon these days?
I saw these two great videos on You Tube and thought I’d share them with you… turn the volume down a tad though, this is one enthusiastic lad!
I love how he advocates self-respect for both sexes and some great advice:
Be willing to wait for the right guy, respect yourself, be kind, learn about the things he likes, make him feel needed, support chivalry, be liberated from Hollywood, set boundaries (if he’s the right guy he’s not going anywhere!), be yourself (if being yourself isn’t good enough for someone then they’re not good enough for you!).
Find out what she likes, encourage her, compliment her, know her family/friends, be chivalrous, don’t post phone self-portraits all over Facebook, don’t get too heavy, keep your hands to yourself (love the chocolate bar analogy!), make her feel safe, be her best friend.
These days, we see children growing up way before we used to when I was a kid, and everything is pushed earlier and earlier…
I hope I don’t sound too preachy, but I really wish children were given more chances to be children, and that teens were encouraged more to be themselves, to learn who they are and to build friendships before relationships!
is it just me…or are they trying to grow up faster and faster?
Children definitely grow up faster these days. I'm sure media has a lot to answer for but so do competitive parents who want their kids to be cool and streetwise, not lagging behind. Amy's 12 and not at all streetwise. She's started taking an interest in fashion and had her ears pierced at Christmas, but she's still a child at heart. CJ x
I agree with Crystal, I think the media does have a lot to answer for. I remember reading a health report about the link between problem with depression in adults to entering into serious relationships in their early teens. You are right Lisa early teens are a time to find your identity and learn all about relationships, well I actually think all teens are for that. I have a 17 year old daughter who is already in a steady relationship and I think she it too young. Great post Lisa x