Five Sentence Fiction: Tears

“Please don’t,” I could barely look at her, couldn’t take the pleading and couldn’t bear the tears that gathered in her eyes or the gentle, but compulsive, wringing of her hands, “You don’t need to do this.”
My mouth set, lips pursed and locked, my hands clenched and controlled by both fury and a despair that threatened to drown me. My wretched heart thudded against my chest echoing the blood pounding through my veins and her voice cut through the tension, “Please don’t do it…” this time her hands shook as she roughly wiped mascara across her cheek.
My eyes stung but my grip tightened, my fingers, hot and slippery, but secure as they clutched my weapon of choice.
She turned away, grief consuming her, and I was glad I could no longer see her flood of tears as I stared resolutely in the mirror, seeing nothing but my own blurry image staring back, and the scissors cut…and the first of many fistfuls of my long, gloriously long, auburn hair fell to the ground…

Photograph by Bekah Shambrook

10 thoughts on “Five Sentence Fiction: Tears

  1. McKenzie

    Oh this so sad! Hair cuts are seriously scary things. O.o I thought she was going to kill herself though, that was an intense buildup. Nice job. 😀

  2. Kern Windwraith

    Like McKenzie, I thought she was going to kill herself, too–and I guess she did, in a way, didn't she? Hacking off one's hair is such a symbolic gesture. Really enjoyed this. Thank you!

  3. Sandra Crook

    The first time I read this, I assumed it was the mother cutting the child's hair, which re-awakened a personal nightmare for me, when my father used vent his disapproval of my long hair. This was a truly powerful piece for me, even when I realised the haircutting was self-inflicted. Great job.

  4. Lisa Shambrook

    Love your comments, and Sandra, I had to check back and re-read, but you're right, at first glance it could appear the child is remonstrating with the mother who is about to cut her hair! That would horrify me too…I remember wonky fringes!I really hoped to get the horror of the girl hacking off her own hair, especially when it appears she loves it so much!

  5. lizzie loodles

    I was not expecting that! I thought she was going to hurt someone else or herself, but then some haircuts can be traumatic. . I am left with so many questions. . the main one being why is she hacking/cutting away at her beautiful hair. . there are so many reasons all of which seem very sad . . .Excellent piece.


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