Five Sentence Fiction: Faces

Photograph by Lisa Shambrook (please do not use without permission)
Time was moving fast, with no thought for anyone or anything.
She sat, an anonymous face amongst hundreds of commuters, her heart beating like the train pulling into the station. 
There was nothing she could do, exhaustion and fatigue not only lined her features, but incapacitated her tense muscles too, she couldn’t move and they were coming. Another glance at the clock and time was up, and from the corners of her eyes she could see them coming, like wasps swarming.
She rolled the capsule under her tongue, licked her lips, and moved the pill between her teeth; time was gone…and she bit down hard.

Made it just in time this week…now to get back into a routine after the Summer Holidays!


14 thoughts on “Five Sentence Fiction: Faces

  1. Sandra Crook

    You captured the urgency and tension right from the start. I take it was a suicide pill? Or maybe it was one that would make her disappear? Whatever, I felt for the poor girl. Nicely done.

  2. Jo-Anne Teal

    Lisa this is so very well done. When it started I thought it was going to be a story about a sad commuter but I should have known there were would be something underlying the moment. You are always able to add that extra compelling 'photo' in your stories. The pain is palpable.

  3. Lisa Shambrook

    I'm aiming to reach your standard Jo-Anne! I'm really enjoying connecting my photography to my fiction too. Sometimes it can prompt the story or I find something to compliment…that reminds me, must get over to Visual Dare!

  4. Kern Windwraith

    Oh, wow, such a lot of tension packed into five sentences. The story hooked me from the very beginning and held on tight. What a wonderful, suspenseful kapow of a story! Really well done.


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