Dawn approached, sliding silently across the skies, trailing mackerel clouds and a pale pink sunrise.
Orphic rays and shimmering shafts danced softly on the lawn bathing the morning lark, but his song barely caught Kate’s attention as she buckled the suitcase on the kitchen table.
Organza fluttered at her neck as a cool breeze wandered curiously through the room, and she fingered the iridescent material, fighting the tears that dropped onto the hurriedly packed case now resting at her feet.
Restless fingers fumbled as she repositioned the scarf to cover the now fading circlet of purple and yellow, and she hurriedly grabbed her life with a quick look up at the ceiling.
Sunshine now flooded the small, tidy kitchen and Kate slipped noiselessly out of the back door, closing it gently behind her.
Really enjoying a return to Lillie’s Five Sentence Fiction, the challenge where I cut my flash fiction teeth way back when…have a go yourself and take a look at the other entries.
This is the sort of writing I like – the reader has to be involved, adding a bit if the story based on what is provided. It doesn’t just come out and say what happened yet the events aren’t so obscure that the meaning is confused or lost altogether. There is a contrast between the gentle dawn and the violence against the woman. That’s a lot to put into 5 sentences, especially when they aren’t forced. Very good!
Yet again you’ve captured beauty & a ton of emotion in such a short piece, just great
Lovely post Laura.. Really a powerful punch in a tiny fist. 😀
Very nicely done, gentle and fluid, letting the brutal reality sink in.
Night and day, darkness and sunlight – you captured the beauty and the beast. Well done!
Romance & Mystery…writing my life
Thank you all, I’m so glad the light and dark came through effectively, just what I was hoping for x
Apologies if this comment comes through twice as I thought I’d already left a comment, although it seems to have been lost in cyber space.
Love the contrast of the peaceful dawn to her restless escape from the brutality within. Full of emotion and gorgeous imagery. xxx
Thanks Lizzie, the original did indeed get lost in cyber space, ’tis fun to be back in FSF land x
Superb superb imagery! Loved the light and hope in the end! Aditi
Sunshine in a dark place give hope. Sad and yet life affirming.