Going grey, turning silver – whether you’re aging gracefully or disgracefully –
at some point your hair colour is going to change. How will you embrace it?
I’m forty-seven, and eleven months into growing out my coloured hair and turning silver… and I thought I’d share my process with you.
There’s a huge amount of pressure on women these days to always look good, and as I’ve got older the media’s view on aging can be intimidating.
The average woman will begin to notice grey hairs from the age of thirty-five and by fifty most women will have at least 50% grey coverage. Men grey a few years earlier than women, but it seems more acceptable in men, just look at George Clooney (58)! I realised that most women my age on screen don’t have any discernible silver in their locks. Many popular presenters, Davina McCall (51) and Holly Willoughby (38) for example, are actively advertising hair dye products. And, tell me, have you seen many female news readers sporting grey hair recently? Fiona Bruce (55) still has glorious dark hair. I don’t have a problem with this, I’m all for being whoever we want to be, but for women who are going grey or who choose to transition from colour to grey it can be difficult. In the end you have to do what fits you, and if you prefer to dye then all power to you, but if you want to switch having some role models can help.
The positive, though, is that firstly, grey hair has become a fashion statement, with many young women choosing to dye their hair silver or grey and looking amazing, and secondly, I have noticed a few more women in the media in their forties and fifties with highlights mixed into what could be their natural grey growth. I saw Joely Richardson (54) on television this week, with beautiful golden-blonde and white highlights.
This is my going grey story – part one (there’ll be a part two, probably in another year or so when I’m fully silver) … and here’s part two, two years later: Silver gilt Embracing Going Grey and Turning Silver
When I was young, I never thought about getting old. I was one of those teens who looked young and benefitted from family genes, and though my hair was always thin, I loved its colour. Certainly, the thought of going grey had never crossed my mind until my late thirties. As we age our bodies produce less melanin, the colour pigment, so instead of coloured hair, our locks grow in grey or white. Genetics play a big part in when this happens. My mother had dark hair all her life, and only a few grey hairs well into her sixties, but my dad went grey much earlier – guess whose hair I have? My dad’s! I’ve also found that my silver hair is stronger, less greasy (I used to wash it every day, now I can go three days at least before it needs washing), and much thicker (a true blessing for a girl like me with limp and thin hair!).
I often dyed my own dark brunette hair, and mahogany, plum, ruby, and copper were my go to colours, enhancing my natural red tones. Then, about eleven years ago, white roots began to show through, mainly at the front hairline, and my dye game stepped up. I moved to dark and warm browns and auburns, until I felt they were getting too dark for my skin. You’ll notice as you age that your skin tone changes too. A few years ago I decided to follow my natural lighter colour and moved to light brown and ash colours which worked with my skin and root growth much better. I dyed every eight weeks and felt I looked older whenever white roots showed.
An element of fear kept me holding onto brunette, but now, as I age, I want to be me – my authentic self. I got bored of dyeing and discovered Grombre an inspirational Instagram page which celebrates women turning silver, and I knew I wanted the freedom of embracing the evolving real me. It’s been a time of change, becoming peri-menopausal, my altering beliefs and ethics, and I wanted to be my natural self without apology!
My local hair salon are award-winning colourist experts and when I asked how best to go grey, they advised ditching the colour, avoiding highlights (matching to grey growth can be very hit and miss), and just going for it. So I did. A few years ago I moved from long hair to a short bob and this definitely helped with the grey process. It seems my hair grows about 2cm a month, so this was my root growth progress and also what I asked my stylist to trim every two months. This meant my hair colour change was obvious and I love it! The bronze tips of my hair are now just fading colour from years and years of dye, and like autumn leaves they’ll soon be gone.
This doesn’t mean I’ll never colour again (as a dark-haired girl no colours but black, brown, and red ever took to my hair), and after my fading copper tips are gone I’m looking forward to playing with pink or purple or blue!
The weirdest thing in this process for me is acknowledging that brunette is no longer my natural colour!
The shimmering shades of silver, white, and steel grey in my hair suit me and I’m fascinated by the process. I thought I’d go completely and suddenly white but the salt and pepper effect is lovely, steel grey at the back moving through shades of silver to white framing my face. My fear of looking old was quashed fast as I realised my ombre of silver and bronze didn’t negatively affect how I saw myself. I used to look in the mirror when my white roots shone through and believed I looked ten years older – but it’s a matter of attitude. I look the same but have a sparkle of silver gilt.
I can’t wait to see what it looks like once it’s all natural and like an emerging butterfly I’m ready to embrace my wings!
It’s been almost one year, and by this time next year I expect to be completely colour free.
I’m ready to let my silver spirit soar with freedom and abandon.
Are you thinking of transitioning from colour to grey, or have you gone grey naturally?
What were your ups and downs, and how do you love your new look?
I was immediately drawn to this post when I saw it in my inbox this morning because I’ve been going gray now for over a year. I wasn’t good about keeping up with coloring, so it was a natural progression of my laziness, I suppose.
I LOVE my hair with its ombre silver and light brown hues, and you wouldn’t believe the compliments I get on it, even from complete strangers. I had an opportunity to spend some time with a distant cousin over the weekend, and she’s doing the same thing and finding that she loves it, too. It’s freeing.
I think the media is largely responsible for the notion that women can and should continue to look young-ish into an age where dark, rich color is unreasonable, though if any woman wants to color her hair, I’m completely in favor of it. It’s all about being ourselves, as you say, and doing what feels right. For me, it feels right to age somewhat gracefully and not try to force something that has stopped occurring naturally.
Great post! Thank you.
100% with you! I’m loving it and yes, it’s incredibly freeing. I was quite worried about going for it, but every comment has been complimentary and for the first time in my life my hair is fair and not dark!
So happy it’s working for you too xx
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