Tag Archives: Santa

Bad Santa: Santa Sleighn

After some lovely Christmas tales in Tales by the Tree, Ruth over at Bullish Ink has thrown down the gauntlet to tarnish Santa in her third Bad Santa Blog Hop.
So, Santa is hereby tainted…

Santa Sleighn
The newspaper crinkled in his hand, and he shook it out, folding it to the front page story. His eyes skimmed the headline and the photograph, and moved to the story below.  He read, his eyes moving fast over the page then he rested his gaze on the old man in the photo. His blue eyes gazed back, twinkling, even in the grainy black and white newspaper picture. He sighed and leaned back in his sun lounger. 
The pool sparkled as the rising sun spilled fiery rubies into the water and he reached for his tequila.
‘Santa Sleighn: Friendly Fire’ the headline rang inside his head, and he lifted the paper again. 
‘It was no Enchanted Evening this Christmas Eve over the South Pacific, as Santa was struck down by an ATD (automatic targeting defence weapon) over the Ocean. Incidentally, the French are desperately refuting responsibility for the assumed destruction of Santa and his sleigh. Seven of his nine reindeer survived the incident, but both Blitzen and Rudolph are still missing presumed dead, as is old St Nick himself.’
The loss of an icon rocked the entire world grabbing headlines every day for two weeks.  He shook his head and sipped his drink. The wireless crackled and he adjusted the aerial, chinking the ice in his drink as he leaned close.  The tequila mimicked the sunrise and he twirled the cherry on a stick in reflective silence. 
A voice on the radio caught his ear and he listened to the woe of Mrs Claus. She complained bitterly about press intrusion and the final calling off of the search for her husband’s body. She spoke of the wretched disappointment of children across the globe, and the grief in far flung places as well as in Scandinavia. Her voice grated and he could well imagine her brash insistence to search every Polynesian island beach and South America’s entire Western seaboard. He flinched as her voice raised an octave and shrilled through the speaker. He clicked the radio off.
He grunted, brushing a newly manicured hand across his freshly shaven face and stared across the pool at the white villa. He flexed his toes, enjoying the early morning heat that warmed his white mop of wavy hair, and pushed his wire rimmed glasses up his nose. 
Though he was truly grief stricken at the thought of Blitzen and Rudolph lost at sea, he didn’t spare a thought for his wife, or the whining pack of freeloading elves left at home. He’d paid the mercenaries handsomely, and the peace and quiet was well worth the expense. The sea rescue had been hit and miss, a bit choppy, but they’d pulled it off and now Nicholas relaxed in Argentinian splendour.
A barely dressed nymph wandered across the tiles, her hand stroking a well-toned thigh, below a pale blue bikini. He grinned. “Sweetheart, just one thing…the bikini, could you wear the red one instead, with the white fur trim? I’m quite partial to it…”   
(498 Words)

Pop over to Bullish Ink’s Bad Santa Contest to read the other entries and sully Santa yourself!

AMMC: Winter Hope

This is for AMMC a Christmas Anthology set up by Laura, Missy and Nick.

Winter Hope © Lisa Shambrook

Winter Hope

Gossamer threads hung, decorated with frozen diamonds, and beneath the lacy webs Winter rested her head on the stony floor. Swirls of vapour rose from her nostrils and tiny blue flames licked across her tongue. She sighed.

An amber glow suffused the sky with light, banishing the indigo skyline over the horizon, and the vista smouldered beneath an ethereal haze. Snow clothed the valleys, and ice clung to every rock and ridge. Icing-sugared trees blended the woods together, evergreens bathed in a blanket of white and leafless trees stood dipped in sherbet. A cotton-wool carpet covered the grass before the cave and red berries shone like rubies peeping through earth’s crystal mantle. Lakes shone like glass, and early-rising village folk danced across the sheets of ice.

Winter yawned…


This is a preview to the story that can be found within A Symphony of Dragons. It has become one part of my symphony, a composition, of A Symphony of Seasons… You can find this enchanting book of short stories in many outlets in both paperback and eBook or at my publisher BHC Press.

Read previews to Spring’s and Autumn’s tales: Spring Symphony and Autumn Flame.

Bad Santa Blog Hop: Red vs Green

This is written for Sweet Banana Ink’s Bad Santa Blog Hop 2012, and I should probably be honest and say I’ve found it very hard to sully Santa…but here goes!

Red vs Green

It was Rudolf who blew the whistle, and Old Nick’s face was one of sheer inglorious humiliation. Dasher snorted and Dancer turned away.
“You got the wrong man!” Santa blustered, desperation turning his face as scarlet as his suit.
The elves shook their heads and tightened their grip on the old man as he tried to dig the heels of his famous black boots deep into the frigid ground.
He began to weep as they dragged him, his tears freezing as they dripped from his white beard.  “Prancer! You tell them, we can work this out!”
The reindeer huffed and jingled the bells hung around her neck. Nick tried again, “Tell them Prancer, Vixen? Any of you? I’m innocent!”
His reindeer stood in silence, their eyes gazing down at the snow, until Comet nuzzled Cupid. Sadness glazed Cupid’s dark eyes and a tear slipped down her face. Nick tried to catch Cupid’s eyes as he was dragged unceremoniously past, but the little reindeer turned her back.
“Donner! Blitzen! You know me!” Santa cried, “We can come to an arrangement!”
Donner faltered, but Rudolph pulled rank and Donner stayed put, avoiding the old man’s gaze. Blitzen stood coldly and stared right into Nick’s eyes, and the old man shivered.
When Mrs Claus arrived she was pale, and not just because it was a cold night. She was flanked by several elves and she pulled her fur coat tight around her ample body. Nick bit his lip and her eyes froze him to his core.
“I always knew something was wrong…but I was never able to put my finger on it…” she began with pursed lips and folded arms, “It was when you gained all that weight, and grew a much bushier beard. You blamed it on excess mince pies and all those glasses of milk! Milk!” She shook her head. “Oh boy, was I foolish? You’ve been creaming off the profits ever since!”
“Darling!” Santa protested, “You don’t know what you’re saying!”
“I think I do, and I even found this!”   She pulled a moth-eaten coat from beneath her own fur and waved it in front of her. “It’s green!”
Nick balked. “And that’s what you’re judging me on?”
“It’s what you used to wear!” she hissed. “I thought you changed it because you wanted something new not because you were sponsored!”
“It was old…”
“So are you, so you should know better, you’re an icon, or you’re supposed to be!” She narrowed her eyes and hugged the old evergreen cape to her chest, burying her face into its soft, fur collar. “You’re supposed to be impartial…charitable…”
“You have no proof!” Nick lifted his fist.
“That’s just where you’re wrong…” she said in triumph pulling out her brand new smart phone. “Take a look at this!”
You Tube filled the screen and a jolly, red-faced Nick stared back at them holding a red and white can.
“You went corporate!” she spat.

(495 Words)