A Decade of Growing Up…

Sometimes it’s hard to imagine your children ever growing up…then, all of a sudden they’ve gone and done it…

I’ve noticed my older two maturing, it’s hard to miss when one towers over you and the other measures himself against you almost daily – ready to point out that he is taller than you – the very moment he is, he’s not yet, I’ve still got a few millimetres on him…but today it was the turn of my youngest. It was time for me to stand back and allow her her own decisions.

I’m a control freak…hard to imagine, but no really, I am…and my ‘control freakiness’ has sometimes got in the way of my children’s freedom to choose.
There’s been the odd Christmas, over the years, when my choice of present for a child seemed much better than the scribbled choice on their list…I bought my choice, then couldn’t understand when it didn’t get played with as much as I’d imagined it would! I learned that one the hard way and bought their choices after that, better value, even if I didn’t like it!

Today Caitlin and I were going through her wardrobe, chucking out clothes that are now too small, when she picked up one top and said, ‘You know I’m never going to wear this don’t you?’ I gave a sideways smile, and replied, ‘But I really like it.’ ‘That’s the point,’ she said, ‘you like it, but it’s not me.’
This happened several more times, with a dress and with a pair of boots. The boots were difficult. I bought cute Clarks, black leather ankle boots in a charity shop for only Β£2…a bargain! They were a couple of sizes too big when I bought them a few years ago and I put them away for Cait when she got older. It didn’t bother me that she disliked them on sight when she was eight…she’d appreciate them one day…
So every year or two I got them out and said, ‘Try these on…they’re lovely…’ and with a grimace and humouring Mum she’d try them on. ‘Ok, maybe next year.’ I’d tell her ignoring the unhappy expression on her face…after all, they were Clarks, and leather and only Β£2…
Today, I tried again…but though she tried them on and they fitted, I think they’ve fit for a while…it dawned on me that they weren’t the bargain I’d thought they were…
I asked myself how I would feel if I was coerced into wearing something that wasn’t me, or even that I just didn’t like…and I realised that Caitlin was completely able to choose for herself.
The boots went into a charity bag…and maybe they’ll be someone else’s bargain…

I noticed as my daughter tried on clothes and chatted away that she wasn’t my ‘little’ girl anymore, she was a burgeoning rosebud, blossoming into something more than even she can imagine…and it’s about time I noticed!

My children are becoming themselves…

In the ten years from 2001 to 2011 Caitlin, Dan and Bekah have grown up, Caitlin from one to eleven, Dan from five to fifteen and Bekah from eight to eighteen…
I love watching them grow…I love watching them change, I love hearing their opinions develop and evolve, I gain pleasure from the knowledge they collect and from the wisdom they share, I learn from them, I love watching the adult form within them…
I love them and love the way they love me back… 
(Please do not use or reproduce any photographs of my children)
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2 thoughts on “A Decade of Growing Up…

  1. Hannah

    Love this… I think about Aniah's growth and wonder at how quick it all seems to be going already! I can't imagine having an 18 year old!! But it will happen, as I'm sure you couldn't see bek as an 18 year old when you played with her as a baby. xxx

    Reply
  2. Pingback: What is the Love in Your Life? | The Last Krystallos

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